Parent to Parent: Raising teenagers

From rebellion to peer pressure, movies show all the scary scenes of raising a teen.

Bonny Sefton, mom
"Teenagers are very challenging. It's true what they say the bigger the kid the bigger the problems."

Dr. David Elkind has written the book on raising teens, and he's come up with seven "Parental Pointers."

For starters, let your teen "express" themself!

Nicole Kidman's 14-year-old daughter dyed her hair blue. Other teenagers get pierced.

Dr. Elkind said parents need to find what works for them and their teenager.

Dr. David Elkind, "The Hurried Child"
"Parents have their own tolerances. You have to talk about it and say, 'This really bothers me,' and, 'Is there some other way we can do this?'"

We all know teens love to talk on the phone.

Parental Pointers No. 2: find a way to make your own connection.

Dr. David Elkind, "The Hurried Child"
"If we're willing to share our time and our experiences, then kids are willing to share theirs, because it becomes a more mutual thing than an interrogation."

Parental Pointers No. 3: when your teen tests you with an outrageous opinion, don't be too quick to pass judgment.

Dr. David Elkind, "The Hurried Child"
"Make it a negotiation. Make it a discussion, instead of you're wrong, and I am right."

No. 4: Dr. Elkind said teens are more willing to follow the rules if you plan punishments together.

Eliza Sefton, teenager
"Then, we know our boundaries and where not to cross and what will happen if we do get in trouble."

Parental Pointers No. 5: show affection in private, so you don't embarrass your kids.

Bonny Sefton, mom
"We don't hold hands we don't show public displays of emotion after 5th grade. It's like an unwritten rule."

No. 6: punish behavior don't attack their character.

Dr. David Elkind, "The Hurried Child" 
"We have a tendency when a kid does something wrong to say, 'You're always doing that,' 'You're so lazy,' or, 'You're always forgetting.'"

And finally, be sensitive to your teen's feelings. Things like a crush may seem silly to you, but it's serious to them.

Eliza Sefton, teenager
"Listen to what we're saying and try to understand and try remember back when they were younger."

A few parental pointers can help bridge the generation gap.

Experts said parents should also try to focus on the positive things teenagers do, not just the negative.

The goal is to keep your teens out of trouble by building a trusting relationship.

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