Parent to Parent: Homesickness

It sure looks like nine-year-old Arik is having a picture perfect time at camp.

But when his parents arrived for visiting day it was a very different story.

Tami Rosenstein, parent
"He ran out of the bunk, ran to his father first gave him a hug and started to cry. And said he was going home that day."

It's not uncommon for children to go through bouts of homesickness at sleep away camp, but experts say that doesn't mean you should give in to demands to come home.

Dr. Lea Defrancisci Lis, NYU Child Study Center
"If you take them out of camp early you're sending the message that you'll rescue them and you can't always be there to rescue them so it's much better to let them learn to be independent."

So how can you help your child cope? For starters, prepare before camp begins. Talk about what camp will be like, and practice sleepovers. Pack a personal item, for example stuffed animals or family photos can feel comforting to kids. Offer calm re-assurance when the ‘rescue me’ phone call comes in. Put the time frame in perspective for kids. Also, talk to the camp, you may get a different picture of how homesick your child really is.

Dr. Lea Defrancisci Lis, NYU Child Study Center
"They may feel it very intensely when they're talking to you on the phone but five minutes later they're playing with their friends and they've forgotten. Children can be very dramatic and very convincing."

But doctors say if children are truly inconsolable, not engaging and not having fun, parents should think about taking them out of camp. Also, consider talking to a professional about a possible underlying anxiety issue.

As for Arik, he stuck it out and learned a valuable lesson in coping skills.

Tami Rosenstein, parent
"For our son, it was best to stay in camp. We knew when he'd came home he'd feel like ‘I did it’ instead of ‘I dropped out.’"

Experts say parents should encourage their kids to write in a journal when they’re feeling homesick. The goal is to teach them how to cope with being away from home.

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