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PrintParent to Parent: Divorce
David Polen was just three years old when his parents divorced.
David Polen, 26
"I don't really have much memory of my parents being married or being together."
Each year, about a million children in this country will see their parents split. Divorce can be traumatic for children, but experts say what matters most is how the parents behave.
Tracy Davis, Mount Sinai Hospital
"The most important factor in children doing well after a divorce is how the parents handle. There's a lot we can do to have children have a very positive outcome after a divorce."
So for example, parents should not force children to take sides, involve kids in arguments, or criticize or blame each other in front of children.
David says that in particular helped him.
David Polen, 26
"They never spoke poorly about each other in front of me."
Also, experts say parents should speak about the divorce with their kids early on and to be honest.
David's Mom recalls talking with her kids and making sure they knew it wasn't their fault.
Sherry Polen-Wolf, parent
"That each of us loved them extremely, it had nothing to do with them, and didn't mean I would ever divorce my children. You don't divorce your children."
Children often blame themselves. For David, time helped him heal and he is now more accepting of the situation.
David Polen, 26
"I think it worked out well for me. I'm not happy my parents got divorced, but I wouldn't want to see them in unhappy marriage." think it worked out well for me. I'm not happy my parents got divorced, but I wouldn't want to see them in unhappy marriage."
Some other advice: Try to come up with a parenting plan or paper even before the divorce is finalized. That can help avoid conflict down the road.
(Copyright (c) 2008 Sunbeam Television Corp. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)
David Polen, 26
"I don't really have much memory of my parents being married or being together."
Each year, about a million children in this country will see their parents split. Divorce can be traumatic for children, but experts say what matters most is how the parents behave.
Tracy Davis, Mount Sinai Hospital
"The most important factor in children doing well after a divorce is how the parents handle. There's a lot we can do to have children have a very positive outcome after a divorce."
So for example, parents should not force children to take sides, involve kids in arguments, or criticize or blame each other in front of children.
David says that in particular helped him.
David Polen, 26
"They never spoke poorly about each other in front of me."
Also, experts say parents should speak about the divorce with their kids early on and to be honest.
David's Mom recalls talking with her kids and making sure they knew it wasn't their fault.
Sherry Polen-Wolf, parent
"That each of us loved them extremely, it had nothing to do with them, and didn't mean I would ever divorce my children. You don't divorce your children."
Children often blame themselves. For David, time helped him heal and he is now more accepting of the situation.
David Polen, 26
"I think it worked out well for me. I'm not happy my parents got divorced, but I wouldn't want to see them in unhappy marriage." think it worked out well for me. I'm not happy my parents got divorced, but I wouldn't want to see them in unhappy marriage."
Some other advice: Try to come up with a parenting plan or paper even before the divorce is finalized. That can help avoid conflict down the road.
(Copyright (c) 2008 Sunbeam Television Corp. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)