Special Report: Divorced for the holidays

Andrea Lyman
"Christmas is here"

She's the legal guardian of her 14 year old nephew Maxx...that means she needs to keep track of whether its Christmas eve at his Mothers or Christmas day with his Dad.

Andrea Lyman
"Its been a learning experience for everyone involved"

Its a common issue for divorced parents - - keeping the peace during the holidays...

Sharyn Sooho - Co-Founder, divorcenet.com
"It's another universe of anxiety and stress"

Sharyn Sooho is from divorce net. She's seen many cases like Andreas but says it is possible to celebrate cheerfully...

Sharyn Sooho
"We think that if you take the time, a year in advance to plan out the holidays and where the children are going to be, you're ahead of the game."

The key to a good plan : communication. But if your not on speaking terms with one another...

Sharyn Sooho
"Have your lawyers, have a mediator, therapist, some third party, help you devise a plan so you don't need to talk"

An important item to talk about : the gifts. Yes santa can go to both homes..but parents shouldn't compete with one another for who can buy the bigger or better present.

Sharyn Sooho
"Its really to give up yourself and to give some time and attention to the child. And as we say, give the child permission to love both parents"

When issues cant be resolved, attorney Brendon Piper-Smyer says holiday disputes may end up in court and thats never a good thing...

Brendan Piper-Smyer Attorney
"I think when you're going to court to talk about what the Christmas schedule is going to be, it probably is an uncomfortable holiday for everybody."

So to stay out of court and in the holiday spirit - - experts say parents need to remember its not about you as parents, its about your children. Linda Ergas 7News.

Related Link:
10 Holiday Tips for Divorced Parents